Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
