dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
