there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
