Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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