She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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