Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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