she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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