She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
