Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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