walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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