in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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