my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
