All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
