I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Girls should come with a carfax report
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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