Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
