the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
