I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize