i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
