I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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