I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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