He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
