you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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