I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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