we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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