6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
