if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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