Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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