I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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