Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
