Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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