I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm at about main and main street
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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