Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
