Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
