he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
