My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
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