Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
