I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT