38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
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I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
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my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.