we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.