i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Someone came in the potted fern
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?