Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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