isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
