we're blogging at a bar
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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