So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My ATM looks so different sober.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
