His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
