Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
