her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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