How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
