Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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