You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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