I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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