why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
