do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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