I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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