I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
