put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
