It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
