didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i've created a new STD.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
