i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
