do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
