just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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