found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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