Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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