Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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