I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
