apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
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